Today’s Permission Slip → You’re allowed to feel the pain

Author

Emily Allen
June 02, 2025

In partnership with

Hi Beautiful,

There’s a kind of pain that doesn't scream. It doesn't call in sick. It doesn’t get time off.

This week has been soaked in that kind of pain. Not loud, dramatic grief but the kind that shows up in quiet rooms. The kind that hides behind to-do lists and inbox replies.

We talk so often about the invisible loads women carry – grief, anxiety, responsibility, exhaustion. This is one of those weeks where it’s all there, quietly piling on.

If you’ve ever felt like you had to keep functioning when your soul was breaking, this week’s newsletters are dedicated to you.

Last week, my 15-year-old son lost a close friend in a car accident. One moment they were talking and laughing in class. The next, he was being rushed to the ICU.

They tried but…couldn’t save him.

A child. A friend. A forever-kind-of-loss.

There is no script for this kind of grief. No manual for how to explain it to your kid, or how to hold his heartbreak while managing your own.

And yet, the world doesn’t pause. The laundry still piles up. Deadlines still tap on your shoulder. And there’s still dinner to be made.

So how do you keep going when your heart feels heavier than your body?

You don’t power through.
You don’t numb it out.
You carry it. Gently. Honestly.

You learn to let softness coexist with strength.
You choose tenderness in a world that rewards pretending.
You make space for both heartbreak and hope.

Because this life, it doesn't just ask us to be strong. It asks us to stay human.

If you’re carrying invisible grief, silent sadness, or just a bone-deep kind of tired…Let this be your permission to not hold it all together.

You get to cry.
You get to pause.
You get to fall apart.

And still, you will rise. Not because you rushed your healing…but because you honored it. Remember! We’re not building lives that only work when things are fine. We’re building lives that hold us even when everything hurts.

— Start Over Kitty
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🐾 START OVER KITTY SAYS

Grief isn’t always loud. Fatigue isn’t always visible. And healing? It rarely shows up when it’s convenient. So, if all you did today was breathe and be here, I’m proud of you.

🛠 RESET RITUAL

Light a candle. Sit with one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Ask yourself: Where am I feeling the pain the most? Write down the first thing that comes up even if it feels weird. Let that part of your body feel the pain. Let it matter.

🎧 KITTY’S PICK

“Heavy” by Birdtalker: A gentle track for heavy days. One you can sit with in silence, in sadness, or in slow motion. Let the music hold what you don’t have words for yet.

→ Listen here

📣 THIS WEEK’S QUESTION

What invisible load are you carrying right now that no one sees, but you wish someone did?

Until next time,

Start Over Kitty and the Permission to Start Over Team