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The Fear of Moving On: Why We Resist Growth
Emily Allen
April 02, 2025
Greetings from Start Over Kitty!
I know you’ve been wanting to move on to the next chapter of your life. You’ve set the intentions, visualized it, maybe even taken a few steps forward. But something keeps pulling you back.
It’s frustrating, isn’t it?
That feeling of knowing what you want but still hesitating to fully step into it. Maybe it’s an old story you’ve told yourself about who you are. Maybe it’s the comfort of familiarity, even if it no longer serves you. Or maybe, deep down, a part of you fears what moving on might mean.
If any of this resonates, you’re in the right place. Let’s talk about it.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”
HEALTH 🏋️♀️
Change is weird. One minute, you’re all pumped about a fresh start. Next, you’re questioning every life decision while stress-eating junk food. (Been there, done that)
The truth? Your body isn’t the only thing that needs strength, your mind does, too. And confidence isn’t something you’re born with, it’s something you build…like a muscle (or a really good playlist for motivation).
If you’ve ever felt stuck, overthought your next move, or wished you could borrow someone else’s confidence for a day, this quick read will help you get out of your head and into action.
WEALTH 💰
If you’re holding onto a financial identity that no longer serves you (underearning, overworking, fearing success), you’re not alone. Financial patterns are deeply tied to our sense of safety and self-worth.
But what if more money didn’t mean more stress? What if you could expand your income without the weight of old money fears?
HAPPINESS 🩷
Ever notice how we hold onto relationships – even the ones that don’t align anymore? Whether it’s friendships, business partnerships, or even client relationships, letting go can feel wrong, even when it’s necessary.
The truth? Some relationships are meant for a season. Releasing them isn’t failure, it’s creating space for the right ones to flourish. If you’ve ever struggled with understanding why you cling to certain connections, Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller breaks it all down. It’s an eye-opener.
DEEP DIVE
A couple years ago, I found myself at a crossroads. I had outgrown a version of my life, a career that no longer lit me up, client relationships that felt misaligned, and a routine that wasn’t serving me. I knew I needed to move on. And yet, I stalled.
Not because I didn’t want better for myself, but because “better” was unknown.
And the unknown? Well, that felt terrifying.
Here’s the thing about moving on: it’s both the fear of stepping into something new and the internal battle of letting go of who you used to be.
And that? That’s where most of us get stuck.
We cling to the familiar, even when it hurts.
And that’s because the human mind is wired for survival, and survival often means sticking with what feels safe. That’s why people…
Stay in jobs they hate
Relationships that drain them
And routines that no longer align with who they are
It’s not that you don’t want better, it’s that you don’t trust what you haven’t experienced yet. Leaving behind an old identity means stepping into uncertainty. And uncertainty can feel like a threat, even when logically, we know it’s what we need.
We also have that subconscious fear of expansion.
The truth is…
Growth sounds great in theory, but in practice, it often triggers deep fears.
What if more success means more responsibility?
What if a new identity alienates the people who once felt familiar?
What if stepping into something bigger means failing publicly?
These subconscious fears keep us tethered to what’s comfortable, even when we know it’s holding us back.
Also, the fact is…
Every new chapter demands a new version of you. That’s where the real fear kicks in. Because moving on doesn’t just mean leaving something behind, it ALSO means expanding into someone new.
Someone who makes different choices.
Someone who no longer tolerates what they once did.
Someone who operates at a higher level.
That shift can feel disorienting. It can even feel lonely at times. But trust me, it’s the only way forward.
And then there are stories we tell ourselves…
Your brain loves familiar narratives.
If you’ve spent years believing that you’re not someone who can handle big success, that relationships always end in heartbreak, or that you’ll never truly break free, those thoughts will feel like truth.
But what you need to see is, they’re just stories. And stories can be rewritten. The moment you challenge the narrative, you take back control.
What if you were the kind of person who thrived in uncertainty?
What if expansion didn’t mean losing yourself?
What if you finally become who you were meant to be?
What happens when you stop resisting?
Listen up!
The fear of moving on doesn’t mean you’re not ready. It just means you’re human. But the moment you recognize that fear for what it is – just a story your mind is telling you – you get to rewrite it. You get to move forward not when you feel no fear, but when you choose to act despite it.
And that? That changes everything.
PICKS OF THE WEEK
Struggling to follow through on goals? This article breaks down why self-sabotage happens and how to stop it before it derails your progress. Read it here.
Feeling emotionally drained after conversations? Some people leave us feeling lighter, while others seem to take more than they give. This quick assessment helps you identify energy-draining relationships so you can set better boundaries. Take the assessment here.
If anxiety keeps creeping in at night, this simple breathing technique is backed by science and can help calm your nervous system in minutes. Perfect for winding down after a stressful day. Try it here.
THE STARTING OVER COMMUNITY CORNER
Stuck in the in-between? That space where you know you don’t want the old life, but the new one hasn’t fully arrived yet? It’s uncomfortable but it’s also where real transformation happens.
The good news? You don’t have to navigate it alone. The Starting Over Toolkit™️ gives you the exact steps to break free from old patterns and build a life that actually feels aligned.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Every breakthrough starts with a decision. What’s one small shift you’re making this week? Hit reply and share! I’d love to hear.
Until next time,
Start Over Kitty & The Permission to Start Over Team
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