How to Handle Big Emotions in Kids Without Losing Yourself

QUOTE OF THE DAY

HEALTH 🏋️‍♀️

Your nervous system is not a machine. It needs breaks, too. When your child is having big emotional waves – screaming, sobbing, rage-flopping, your body responds as if you’re under attack. And sometimes, it is; verbally, emotionally, even physically.

This is why grounding practices matter. Even 60 seconds of slow breathing, stepping outside barefoot, or laying on the floor can help reset your nervous system and remind your brain: “We’re safe.”

👉 Here’s a 5-minute body reset you can do in your kitchen. No yoga mat required.

WEALTH 💰

Emotional labor is unpaid work and it adds up. Every moment spent managing your child’s emotions, holding space, navigating their meltdowns, negotiating peace treaties between siblings, or emailing teachers, it all costs energy.

And when you add “working parent” or “entrepreneur” to the mix? The mental tabs just don’t close. It’s time to put you back on your calendar. Not in a fluffy “self-care bubble bath” way but in a “my time is valuable and I get to rest, too” way. Want to get better at protecting your energy and income?

👉 Tune into this amazing podcast for some real-life advice.

HAPPINESS 🩷

You’re allowed to feel two things at once. You can love your child and feel frustrated.
You can be grateful for your work and feel like it’s swallowing you whole. You can be strong and still want to cry on the kitchen floor.

The key is not to bypass the hard but to remind yourself: this season is stretching you, not breaking you. Also, remember! Parenting isn’t black and white. It’s all the messy in-betweens. And honoring your emotions is the first step to staying sane.

👇 Keep reading for a deep dive into this.

DEEP DIVE

A few days ago, I got a call from a friend. She didn’t start with “Hey.” No pleasantries. Just this:

“I’m about to break. I just need to talk to someone who won’t judge me.”

Her voice cracked.

She’s a mom of three. A professional. Handles pressure like a pro…until now.

One of her kids, her middle one, had been having big emotional waves for weeks. Mood swings. Outbursts. Anxiety. Silence. Rage. Sadness. Back to back to back.

“He’s not like my other two,” she said. “I love him to death, but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m reading books, talking to counselors, and adjusting routines. But nothing is working. He’s still melting down at the smallest thing.”

She paused.

“And the worst part? I’m losing myself in all this.”

She had deadlines. Groceries to grab. A partner who was supportive but emotionally checked out. Laundry. Errands.

And now, a child whose emotions were so big they were eclipsing everything else.

“I don’t want to resent my own kid,” she said quietly.

“But some days, I just want to disappear.”

If you’ve ever been there, even for a second, you’re not alone.

Not broken. Not a bad parent. Just human.

Here’s the thing! Kids, whether they’re 4, 9, or 14, have emotions that don’t always make sense to them, let alone to us.

And as parents, we’re expected to show up with grace, patience, and strategies… while holding our own heartbreak, stress, and exhaustion.

That’s not just hard. That’s heroic.

But here’s where it gets even more real; most of us are trying to parent differently than we were parented. We’re breaking cycles. We’re creating space for emotions we were never allowed to express ourselves.

Which means, this work?

It’s not just parenting.
It’s reparenting yourself in the process.

So, what do you do when it all feels like too much?

You pause.

You remember: it’s not your job to fix every feeling.

Sometimes your child’s tears are just meant to be witnessed, not solved. Sometimes your own tears are a signal to slow down, not push harder.

Here’s what I told my friend:

🩷 You don’t need all the answers to be a good parent. You just need to show up. Even imperfectly.

🩷 Regulate you first. If you’re not okay, no tool or script in the world will work.
Step outside. Take deep breaths. Text a friend.

🩷 Let the bare minimum be enough sometimes. Cereal for dinner? Fine. Screen time while you regroup? Fine. Skip the homework for a night? Totally fine.

🩷 You are allowed to ask for help. From a teacher, a therapist, a friend, or your partner. It doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human.

🩷 Your child is not broken. And neither are you. They’re just learning how to feel… and so are you.

This is the messy, beautiful, sacred work of raising emotionally intelligent kids in a chaotic world.

It’s not always pretty.

But it’s always worth it.

PICKS OF THE WEEK

🧠 BetterHelp – Therapy without leaving your car

Between managing big kid emotions and your own, it helps to have someone in your corner too. BetterHelp connects you with licensed therapists online. It’s flexible, discreet, and sometimes the best thing you can do for your kid… is talk to someone about YOU.

👉 Check it out here.

🗂️ Time Blocking Notepad by Ink+Volt

If your calendar looks like a beautiful disaster and you can’t remember if you actually ate lunch, this time-blocking notepad is your new bestie. Great for visual thinkers who want to reclaim their day (without another app).

👉 You can find it here.

🎧 Podcast: “Emotionally Healthy Legacy” 

It’s like having coffee with a friend who’s also a developmental psychologist. This episode in particular → “Have a child with BIG emotions that is taking over your home?” is GOLD. A beautiful blend of science, real talk, and compassion.

👉 Listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

THE STARTING OVER COMMUNITY CORNER

Still haven’t grabbed your Starting Over Toolkit™️? It’s not just a resource; it’s a reset button. Perfect for those “where do I even begin?” days.

Whether you're feeling stuck in the chaos or just craving a clear path forward, this toolkit helps you get out of your head and back into alignment – with clarity, conviction, and an actual game plan you can feel good about.

Snag the Toolkit here

FINAL THOUGHTS

You don’t have to hold it all perfectly. You just have to keep coming back to yourself.

Take a deep breath. Feel your feet on the ground. You’re doing better than you think. And you’re not alone.

We see you. We’ve got you.

Start Over Kitty & The Permission to Start Over Team

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